Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Magical Toasters

Don't panic. That Christmas party isn't till tonight so you still have time to find that white elephant gift for the gift exchange. Luckily I have the perfect gift in mind for you. Allow me to introduce to you the Daily Bread toaster.

Looks something like this
Makes something like this
*Note: this toast is pre-blessed

And it only costs $39.49! That's what we call a great deal. What's that? The Daily Bread toaster isn't for you? Well, perhaps you'd be interested in our Dark Vader toaster. Comes in two colors: desolation destruction and sinister shadows. Join the dark side every morning with special Vader toast. Say no to plain old toast and eat some pre-blessed or dark side toast! It'll improve your mood and will do absolutely nothing to improve your health. Millions of people suffer from eating plain toast everyday, so make a difference by buying one of these magical toasters today! Buy it for your friends and family. Buy it for your neighbor. Will you just buy it already? Thank you.

                  May the force be with you.
(Personally if I had the money I would buy both these toasters.)

Monday, December 5, 2011

Enchanted in Your Walmart

It's cold. It's snowy. I'm drinking hot chocolate and feeling very lazy. So, am I going to work on that Chemistry packet that's due on Monday? I think not. Eventually I'll painfully drag myself to my chair and chain myself to my desk so that I'll remain focused on my homework. However, for now I am completely satisfied with sitting on my bed and watching youtube videos to my heart's content. But what's this? I lean forward slightly and click on the video. It was a video of a flashmob that took place at DIA, which happens to be an airport I am familiar with as it's in Colorado.


Okay. That was a cool video, but what does it have to do with Enchanted? Here's the connection. For Thanksgiving break my family and I went to Arizona. Now, something you should know about my family. We like road trips. One time my family drove all the way from Colorado to Florida; we don't usually fly when traveling. During this particular trip I was listening to my ipod and the song That's How You Know from the movie Enchanted starts playing.


 And that's when I got the idea. What if this scene in the movie Enchanted was recreated in a random store or at your local park? Imagine this: you're grocery shopping at your local Walmart when suddenly the lady next to you starts to sing this song. The man that's with her tries to get her to stop singing, obviously embarrassed, but she starts to twirl and dance. As the song progresses more people start joining in. Someone next to you pulls out maracas and a sweet elderly couple starts to dance. And you have absolutely no idea what's going on. Personally I think it would make a great video. Just saying.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Angry Bird

"Come on! You have to see this!" It's 7 o' clock in the morning. I'm not a morning person. At all. My younger brother, however, is a fiery ball of energy that cannot be contained. Today he seems to be a little more hyped-up than usual. My entire family, for some reason I couldn't explain at the time, was gathered in my brother's room. Turns out they were looking at something outside my brother's window.

I ran out of the room to grab my camera to take this picture. When I came back, my parents had already left the room. I turned on the camera and focused my camera on the creature. Of course, just as I hit the button to snap the picture I remembered that I had the flash on. When the flash goes off, it's effects are similar to the sun exploding in your face. The owl obviously did not appreciate this. It whipped it's head around (very quickly I might add) and locked it's eyes on me.

This is after I figured out how to turn off the flash
This is what he looked like right after the flash went off
It stared intensely at me for a least a whole two minutes. All I could do was stare back before frantically trying to figure out how to turn off the flash. Alright, fine. I had a staring contest with an owl. And lost.
I win!
Frederick, so humble. I named him (or her...) Frederick. Mostly because it was annoying to constantly refer to it as simply "the owl".

I wouldn't be too concerned about the neighbor's small dog next door. Two suicidal squirrels dashed past the owl several times, the owl not even bothering to act as if it was interested. Besides, I think this guy could lose some weight. It might as well have been my dog sitting in that tree. It's just past 2 o' clock now, and Frederick still hasn't moved. Say hello to the nice readers Frederick.
Frederick says hi. (Notice the eyes)

Saturday, December 3, 2011

An Informal Introduction

Dear Reader,

Welcome to my amazing, out-of-this-world blog. Wait. What's a blog? You're moving too fast here, North. You've already lost me. And what's this about this blog being amazing? I just started reading this thing. Jeez.

It's okay Reader, allow me to explain. You wanted to know what a blog is? I'll tell you. Actually, seeing as I'm too lazy to come up with my own creative definition I'll let Urban Dictionary do the work for me. Urban Dictionary defines a blog as "a place where people (enter curse word here) about their daily activities which nobody is interested in. Topics like why they argue with boyfriend and how they end up together at last, daily anorexic activities like drinking organic fruits and vegetables for breakfast, lunch and dinner, talking about cutting themselves with a razor blade and how good they felt, (enter yet another curse word here) about their shopping activities and what they got."

So Reader, welcome to the 21st century as defined by the all-knowing and reliable Urban Dictionary. There you go.

Hey, hold on for just a minute! Don't click off of this blog quite yet. I assure you this blog is nothing of the sort. I love reading romance books as much as the next teenage girl, but I think I'll leave the lovey-dovey "do I dazzle you?" and "you're intoxicated by my very presence" to Bella and that sparkling fairy vampire in Twilight.

As for the rest, that's not me. This blog is my journal. But don't expect me to write about the latest drama in my life or OMGguysIboughtnewnailpolishIloveitsooomuch!!! Rather, I'll write about my thoughts and things in my life that I think are valuable or interesting enough to share. Yes, they may be random. But I promise, this blog isn't an Urban Dictionary blog.


Oh, so you thought this was the end of my post. Ha! No, it's not. Sorry to disappoint you.

Um, well actually I don't really have much else to say. So...uh...congratulations Reader! You finished reading the first post of The Insomniac. Here's a cookie. Enjoy.

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